The Chronicles of Yee
by radicalflyer
Summary: This is a crack!fic for my friends, it will be full of references and private jokes and is in no way meant to offend anyone, you have been warned. I cannot stress enough how weird this is going to be so be cautious.


_**AN: This story is purely a crack!fic for me and my friends. Very little of it is going to make sense and it is just about the craziest thing I think I will ever write, Apologises for murdering the English language and an important note is it is based vaguely on the style of the famous Harry Potter fanfiction "My Immortal" in terms of writing style but with better grammar and I actually have some plot planned out.**_

_**This might not make sense as a lot of the stuff in it is just references and private jokes between my friends. I am sorry if you do read it and do not enjoy it but it may be because of that reason. If anyone actually finds this then god help you, but also reviews helping with any spelling errors etc would be appreciated.**_

_**I can actually write so don't take this as how I usually write stuff, everything before "the sky was blue and whitish" is how I actually describe and stuff.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Chapter 1-What a bunch of nerds.**

The soft perfumed scent of flowers and cool evening air drifted in languor through a park, the chirps of birds fluttered about and they went to rest while the faint rustle of leaves could be heard throughout this secluded grove. The place had a humble aura and the few people that remained there seemed to have a mutual respect for one another's feelings and everything felt at peace. If you walked deeper into the park, past the silent ponds with their silent skimming insects, along the dappled stone path that resembled a child's jigsaw that the edges had been worn to the point where nothing fit so precisely but still formed an image and stimulated fond memories, the sky was blue and whitish so some lass was well chuffed. It must have been New York or something like that because nothing as awesome as what is about to happen ever happens anywhere else, it's all "OH NO THE WORLD IS UNDER ATTACK" when like a killer duck walks into New York and the hot super spandex dudes destroy half the city and are like "hurray we saved the world! *several buildings collapse*".

Unfortunately this is not one of those stories. Can I get one of those record slip noises for extra drama? No? That's ok.

ANYWAY, back to the story, this random person was in the park, yeah why not that's reasonable. Her name was Holly. She waved at her friends Danielle and Liu who were in a tree spying on hot dudebros with some super cool binoculars and she smiled because Danielle was making fangirl noises like the humble tyrannosaurus rex about to eat a pterodactyl and Liu was singing under the sea in Elvis Presley's voice. Holly kept walking and saw Emily McD being a scene kid and being all goffik with her glow in the dark pink fishnets, she then got hit by a bus, nobody cared because she was so scene. Josh K got struck by lightning too and someone laughed. Holly saw someone who said demons and rugby tackled them, turns out they said Seaman or something, stupid people. Holly then saw her friend Katelynn she was in the shadow of a tree scowling at lovable children and being a scary emo.

"Hiya your Majesty! How is ruling Hell?" Holly said.

"Holly, mood: Apathetic, my life is spiralling downward and I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert, it sucks cause they play some of my favourite songs like Stab My Heart Because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stabby Rip Stab Stab and it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either and-"

"Be quiet my dear sweet emo pear. You are being scary."

"Whatever, I'm an emo kid."

The two of them looked over to some people coming up to them,

"Oh no, it's... it's… THEM"

"Who the hella hoop is them Katelynn?" Holly was like nah mate inside as usual because she's a huge nerd and needs details to satisfy her inner geek or else it will take over the world (not just New York) and eat everyone. The geekness is a dark place and yes geekness is a word so shut up spell check it's gonna get a whole lot crazier so get used to it ya poop.

The people were some kid called Strucken and Stephen the Crab, they are both madly in love with Katelynn but they're preps so Katelynn just ignores their noobness. Strucken is called Strucken because when he confessed his love for Katelynn he was like "I wAS StrUckEn BY YoUr BEAUTY" (not booty) and because of his noobness he spelt struck in the WRONG GODDAM TENSE HOW MUCH OF A PREP CAN YOU BE? Anyway nobody knows who he was before only that… he was a noob. On the other hand Stephen the Crab is a great guy, but, you know, he's a crab. Also Katelynn is too emo for him so basically it's for his own good. Katelynn gave them a death stare and they ran away but they blew kisses, one hit this random dude and he passed out, another dude winked back.

"Bye my emo pear!" Holly said, and she continued into the park. As she was walking there was a hell of "KABOOOOOM" and some Michael Bay style explosions went off, like a tree went KABOOM and a lamppost went KABOOM and a small child went KABOOM and the hot boy Danielle was about to pounce on went "Later fangirl" then he went KABOOM.

"Oh no, it can't be?!" Holly shrieked. "MICHAEL BAY MOVIE TRANSFORMERS, THE WORST KIND OF TRANSFORMERS!"

Just then a bunch of decepticons were like CHER CHER CHER CHERNJETWKJ (that's the transform noise) and started attacking New York (see my point?) and more explosions randomly went off! Everyone started running away and Emily McD's ghost was killed again because she was so brightly coloured that she was an easy target and because decepticons hate scene kids. But then again don't we all? If you are a scene kid (or don't know who Amy Lee is) then get the hell out of here. ANYWAAAY, people were exploding everywhere and the decepticons were like gonna make even MORE stuff go kaboom and by now they were running out of stuff to blow up, it was quite sad actually.

Suddenly Liu walked up to his friends, Holly was hugging a tree making duck noises, Danielle was lying on the floor and Katelynn was on fire. "Hey guys I'm going to get some sweet jolly ranchers I'll be back soon." He said and then walked away and swore at the decepticons that were blocking his way.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO MY DEAR FRIENDS?!" Holly screeched, but then she realised everyone was gone. This made Holly wipe a single imaginary tear from her face for emphasis. Meanwhile Danielle was giggling happily because during the chaos of an explosion Nate Salameh fell out a nearby tree and Danielle followed him because he is her bae.

"Nate senpai!" Danielle went into fangirl mode. He would not escape. "OOOOOH" he has started singing 666 party with the devil, DANIELLE'S FAVOURITE SONG (other than all her other favourites not by him) BUT HE'S NATE FOR ATTILA so shh. He then walking into a wood and Danielle followed again, coincidentally she did not get attacked by decepticons and Danielle entered the wood, but just then Nate winked at her and vanished into the shadows. "Meh, what could POSSIBLY go wrong." She giggled and skipped into the ultra-spooky ominous super sinister and really REALLY creepy woods that Slenderman would be proud of and he was because he was in town for the day to get some pasta (get it creepy pasta?) and to walk his dog Fredrico in the park.

Katelynn meanwhile was being badass with her emo powers, she walked up to a decepticon name Buttwarp and ninja kicked him in the shin and then he died. Suddenly, someone screamed,

"HOLY SHIT IS THAT A TITAN?!"

"YOU KNOW I HEARD THEY'D BE NAKED BUT THAT ONES WEARING BOOTY SHORTS!"

And so it was. "Day-um dat ass." someone said.

Holly meanwhile had decided that Buttwarp's death was her queue to run away screaming and she began scaling a small skyscraper King Kong style for safety or something. But just then there was an explosion if front of her, Holly wondered if it was Sherlock Holmes because he likes tall buildings but no it was…

Draco Malfoy. Wait what? No sorry for that, it was…

Megatron!

"Oh no, he's so inaccurate to the original!" Holly screamed wincing at the weirdy thing Michael Bay created, "You can't even tell who is who, is there even a plot?!"

"CIHXIFBXN IOOXNCCFWESNLSNCJUDFXJNXANODU RAAAAAAH" Megatron said, no roared, no, what… what even is he saying? Is it a splutter? Oh well, he said that anyway.

"AAAAAHHHH MICHEAL BAY WHYYY?!" Holly cried, but just then, out of a beautiful cloud of glitter and pure sunlight Optimus Prime burst in and kicked Megatron straight off the building doing a super cool summer sault and landing in a cool action movie pose.

"OH MY GOSH THAT WAS AMAZING" Holly said in the voice Thomas from Attack on Titan Abridged (you know all up and down and weird).

"I know, it's because I'm Optimus Prime, badass leader of the autobots and fangirl magnet along with Bumblebee, the only two autobots that people can remember the names of and have merchandise sold for."

"I remember others, there's ironhide, jazz, ratchet, prowl-"

"Be quiet."

"Ok. ANYWAY. Ermagosh you're so cool and have a really cool voice." Holly's eyes sparkled with admiration and she got some of the glitter from his dramatic intro in her eyes.

"I know, like I said, it's because I'm Optimus Prime (and I'm voiced by the fabulous Peter Cullen, wait who? *author says shhh Optimus*)"

"You saved me!"

"Yes it's because I'm Optimus Prim-"

"Wooooow. I think I love you Mr Prime!" Holly said.

"Of course you do small creepy human. Who wouldn't?"

"Let's date."

"Yeah why not."


End file.
